Pinky and the Brain Would Be Proud

Between 1995 and 1998 there was an animated cartoon series entitled “Pinky and the Brain”. It was centered around two mice, Brain, a mad scientist, and Pinky, his idiot assistant. Brain’s main goal in life was “to take over the world!” I think one of his cousins has partly succeeded in Southern California’s Disneyland. Allow me to make my case:

To “Take over the World” you need to control the masses. Disneyland does that quite well. Over the three days we spent there with our grown daughters and two grandchildren I observed mind control at it’s finest.

First, you get the people to pay YOU so YOU can control them. At over $100 per person per day just to get into “The Happiest Place on Earth” you have already started the mind control. You have set the expectation. People are expecting to be made happy. They paid for it!

Second, you set the mood. On entry you are surrounded by pleasant music, clean streets, friendly people known as “Cast Members” to assist you in  your every need. Your eyes are captivated by the sights of the quaint storefronts and costumed cast members.

Third, you keep the masses distracted by having several different lands to explore. Adventureland, Tomorrowland, New Orleans Square, Critter Country, Story Tale Land, The Land Time Forgot, The Land Time Shouldn’t Have Remembered, and Main Street, USA.  Each filled with properly themed stores, eateries, rides, adventures and background music.

Now that the scene is set, the mind control begins. You are trained to wait. Where else in the world would you pay over $100 to be able to stand in lines? Most of the wait times were as long as 140 minutes! That’s 2 hours and 20 minutes in line! When you see a wait time of 30 minutes or less for a ride that lasts for 4 minutes you go “WooHoo!” and step right up! WHAT!?!

Then there are the fine dining establishments in rodent land.  When the mouse asks you to fork over $12 for a burger, $5.95 for a soda, AND you wait 20 minutes in line first, you feel grateful. If it was a McDonald’s and you were waiting that long for a $4.00 burger you would have the manager tied up and beaten by that  clown that lurks around there. Mind Control!!!!

Where else in the world would you pay over $100 to be able to walk down a street with 50,000 other people not only at your side but in front of you and behind you, not to mention the strollers, wheel chairs, handicapped scooters and really slow old people and you still feel happy to be there? Mind Control!!!! If it were in your town you would put a cattle guard on the front of your truck and plow them out of your way.

Where else in the world would you pay over $100 to be charged double for a tee shirt just because it has a rodent on it? Think that sounds crazy? I observed over 75% of the people in the park the days I was there were wearing Disney themed shirts and sweaters! Myself included! Mind Control!!!! Target and Walmart would go out of business if they tried to charge you $28 for a tee shirt, even if it had a rodent on it.

Now, I would like to address the type of people you see at “The Happiest Place on Earth”. Whenever our family made a trip to Disneyland we would always pay close attention to the people around us. We had made it a sort of sick game in our family. We have had “Mullet Cam Day”, ” Butt Crack Cam Day”, “Muffin Top Cam Day”, “Oh My God – You Got To Be Kidding Cam Day” in the years past but now the world has changed so far that even we, the most politically incorrect family in the world, are hesitant as we would be forced to have “Dress Like a Prostitute Cam Day”, “Find a person Without a Tattoo Cam Day” and “Nose Ring Cam Day”.

Granted, we did make the mistake of coming to the Rodent’s World the week before Halloween but most of the people I was talking about were not in costume, at least, not on purpose. Many people did wear a costume to the park and this opens up another line of questions.

Where in the world would you pay over $100 to go to a public place dressed like a dog, witch, zombie, skeleton, super hero or a bag of potatoes? (I think that last costume was not intended to look like that but apparently they had so called friends that wouldn’t tell them the truth.) Imagine the looks they received on their way to the park. What if they got pulled over for speeding?

“Exactly why are you dressed as a Yak sir?”

Yes, the world has gone mad and a rodent in southern California can control the minds of the masses. But, then again, what else is new?




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